The first with us was Łukasz Górnicki, who in his Polish Manor House - the prototype of "savoir-vivre"” he expressed concern for the customs of young people. Mikołaj Rej also put a lot of effort into stigmatizing bad morals. He called for politeness: “Helpfulness is for friendship, as a lettuce for roast pork…”
And let's remember, what the Judge in Adam Mickiewicz's Pan Tadeusz says:
I perceive every day, how the youth suffers from it, that there are no schools teaching to live with people and the world…
In year 1817 a book by the tutor of the Chełmno Cadet Corps was published in Warsaw, St. Borodzicza: Characteristic features of bad education. Borodzicz explains in it, above all, the origin of the word politeness:
Politeness is accurate dealing with people, actions of things appropriate to the intentions of sociability, that is, things. He lives rightly with people, who not only does not offend their mind, but too much, who makes others and themselves happy…”
I suppose, the Reader, impatient with these comments, is ready to recognize Borodzicz as his ally: “Do not muddy our heads with do's and don'ts, after all, this simple recipe is enough - to make others feel good. I admit loyally, from the supporters of such a position - and with a greater authority than the tutor - can be easily found in every era. I have decided to quote two, in my opinion, unusually distinctive voices.
Opinia Pana Michela Montaigne (Writer, France, sixteenth century):
Pan Montaigne, ironizing about morals, told a fairy tale about a country woman, who liked the little calf in the barn and carried it still in her hand. She had worn them for so long, until the calf became a big ox. And she was still carrying an ox, not feeling the weight increasing…
Opinion of Mr. Stanisław Wokulski (merchant, Poland - 19th century) - the account of Bolesław Prus:
„… Pike perch was served, whom Wokulski attacked with a knife and fork. Miss Florentyna nearly fainted, Miss Izabela looked at her neighbor with indulgent pity, and Mr. Tomasz … he also began to eat pike perch with a knife and fork. "You are so stupid!” thought Wokulski feeling, that something like contempt for this company awakens in him. Moreover, Miss Izabela spoke without a trace of malice:
—I must be papa when to teach, like eating fish with a knife.
Wokulski found it simply distasteful.
"I see, that I will fall out of love here by the end of dinner…»He said to himself.
"My dear," replied Mr. Thomas to his daughter, "not to eat fish with a knife is indeed superstition.… After all, I am right, Mr. Wokulski?
— Superstition? … I won't say - said Wokulski. - It is just a transfer of the habit from the terms, where it is used, to the conditions, where it is not.
Mr. Tomasz moved in his chair.
— The English consider it almost an insult … - Florentine pandemic.
— The English have sea fish, which can be eaten with only a fork; and our bony fish might have eaten in another way…
— O, The English never break forms, replied Miss Florentyna.
"Yes," said Wokulski, "they do not break forms in ordinary conditions., but in the extraordinary they obey the law: to do as conveniently. I myself have seen very distinguished lords, who ate the mutton and rice with their fingers, and they drank the broth straight from the pot.
The lesson was sharp. Mr. Tomasz, however, listened with satisfaction, and Miss Izabela almost with admiration. This merchant, who ate mutton with the lords and preached so boldly the theory of using a knife with fish, grew in her imagination…
"So you are an enemy of etiquette," she asked..
Not. I just don't want to be her slave…”
I quote these opinions in confidence, that - in this area too - every extreme is nonsensical. Escort rules cannot be treated as a strict corset, they must not seek to standardize society. However, they can and should bring people together and protect them from misunderstandings, skirmishes, grievances and all their unpleasant consequences. It seems anyway, that the social demand for codes of this is not diminishing at all, what indicated, which is reasonable, and what is worth rejecting in contemporary customs. The popularity of “Democratic Savoir-vivre u” was perhaps the best proof of that. Enriched every week in "Przekrój” the work of Jan Kamyczka allowed us to avoid the various shoals of social life.